I rub my eyes, and look over at my phone.
4am…Again.
Another running dream startled me awake out of a very deep sleep. I can easily recall every detail, because I’ve had this dream countless times…
I’m running my favorite trail. Painfully, but passionately, I’m striking the ground. I set out to do something, and I’m gonna do it: finish 100 miles. I’m close, but not quite there- 90 miles. Every step hurts worse than the one before it, but the feeling deep inside my gut keeps my motivational fire burning strong. I can’t explain this feeling, or the reason why I have it. But it’s inside of me, and it drives me to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I start running harder and faster toward the finish. Nothing can stop me. I’m a woman on a mission- fueled by every ounce of pain, heartache, and failure that’s ever plagued my life. I ignore all pain, and speed through the trails. The miles are nothing to me, and I don’t even notice my surroundings. I can’t see the trailhead, but I can hear my family waiting there. They are screaming for me to keep running, and I start to cry. Not uncontrollable tears, just slow, heartfelt, painful tears straight from my soul.
…and then I wake up.
I never get to the 100 mile finish, nor do I want to.
It’s not about the finish.
I click my phone off, and turn back over with a smile on my face.
No one really gets it, and honestly no one really should. If they did, it wouldn’t mean nearly as much to me.
The trails, the hours spent on them, the journey to get there, and everything that follows- it’s sacred to me- as it should be.
I’ll never lose that dream.
Never lose yours.
“I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive. I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise….. to fly, to fly.”
ASHRUNS100s 