Guidelines for Losing Your Century Virginity

Today, I randomly decided to do a 100 mile ride, the Tony Serrano Century memorial ride. The ride is in honor of an avid cyclist and ultra runner that was tragically struck by a car while training for an ironman a few years ago. Though I never met him, today I heard all about the impact Tony had on his community through his love for the sport. To read more about Tony, please visit http://www.tonyserranoride.com
_________________________

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Man.. What a geek.

Friday evening phone call to my sister:

“Hello?”
“Hey Liss.. Can I borrow your bike?”
“Yeah sure, whats up?”
“I’m gonna do this 100 mile ride thing in the morning.”
“………”

So for any other like minded individuals who might think that just setting out to randomly ride 100 miles with no training (or even your own bike) sounds like fun..Since there are so many of us out there.. Here are my tips for you!

1.) At least be an endurance junkie of some sort before you consider this! Running 100 miles is a whole heck of a lot harder than riding it. HOWEVER, nowhere during a 100 mile run does your crotch feel like its been attacked by a raging animal. You must have some experience sticking out touch stuff before you decide to ride this far. Neck. Back. Butt. Holy moly. No, it wasn’t as hard or as long as a 100 run, but mostly it just felt like a really really bad trip to an evil gynecologist… I’m sure these feelings get resolved with much training and a properly fitted bike, but I decided to forgo these crucial elements..and that’s all I gotta say about that.

2.) Get ya some clippy things and real gear. Now I’m sure this is a no brainer for pretty much anyone that bikes, but not everyone bikes. Even if it’s just so you don’t look like a complete tool next to all of the people in their special shoes, you must invest in these shoes & pedals if you want to go far. The only thing that hurt on me during this ride were my quads. Why? Because that’s the only leg muscle group I used for 100 miles. Since I only wore sneaks on a flat pedal, I had no way to pull the pedal up. Just push. No bueno. Also I was told that my shirt “created too much drag” whatever the heck that means.. So get yourself something undragalicious… Like a snazzy bike shirt that says “I’m hardcore” or something along those lines.

3. At least do a ride around the neighborhood first. So I never rode my sister’s bike before this. Okay, actually, I only rode another road bike in 2008, like 3 times. That’s it. So I’m not like a bicycle connoisseur, but I don’t have to be to know that the bike I was riding was not a real good fit for me. It just felt all awkward and uncomfortable from the get-go. This left me with hours of pondering deep secrets of the universe like Why would someone ride a bike for so long? I still do not have this answer. It will plague me for all eternity.

4.) Find a Dani If you are really planning to go the distance with no prior training, you must find your own Dani Grabol. Dani, an incredible cyclist and triathlete, sacrificed her century ride to support me at my snail pace. I’m sure without her there to help encourage me along, I would have maybe done, I dunno, the kiddie 10 miler route? Having someone “show you the ropes” is crucial when you don’t even know what the ropes look like or where to even look for them. In biking these ropes look like flat tires, working gears, fixing breaks, etc… Thanks, Dani!

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5.) Wear sunscreen

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My moms gonna love that tomorrow in our family Easter pictures..

6. Finish! This is vital. If you have the balls to act a fool in such a manner as this, you darn well better have the balls to finish what you started. Otherwise, you’re just a complete imbecile, and you will shame your family.

Hopefully your impromptu cycling endeavors will now flow much smoother than mine did while losing my century virginity today. Total geek or not, cycling 100 miles was pretty darn painful good fun. I highly recommend it!

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21 thoughts on “Guidelines for Losing Your Century Virginity

  1. Heather Shoemaker says:

    Haha! And I thought I wasn’t quite trained enough for my first century a few years back – and I had my own bike and super padded shorts. I ended up with “cyclists palsy” (ulnar neuropathy) after mine, so at least you missed out on that. πŸ™‚

    Good job on another adventure! πŸ™‚

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  2. Greg Nowicki says:

    I found your blog while trying to vicarouosly experience the Tony Serrany Century. I was supposed to ride but sprained my back and was laid up all weekend. After reading some of your blog, I have come to the conclusion that I am a wimp. If you want to try some more cycling, you should check out randonneuring.

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