Wanted: BPR Training Partner

I’m a lone wolf, but I don’t always like it that way. Occasionally, I run with others, and I have several great running companions, and I love them all. But sometimes, you’re lucky enough to get that one person that just meets all of your running needs! My best training partner match is Beth Presten, but right now she is super extremely pregnant. Though she is still knocking out miles like they’re inches, she’s no longer speed training of course. While I’m training under Mr Jack, I need a chick to keep me accountable when it’s 3am, 16 degrees, and 20 miles at a tempo pace on my plate. So since I can’t have Beth for a few more months, here is my list of needs in a chick. She must meet ALL of the requirements!!

BP’s replacement qualifications:

1.) she got trail skills– aka- She must be a talented trail runner. BPR (beth presten replacement) must bomb down all hills without hesitation, climb without slowing, fly through switchbacks like she’s being chased, and have excellent footing even when dark!2.) she is mucho fast! BPR must be capable of hitting under 20 for her 5k, and run long runs in the 7’s. She must be constantly pushing for faster, too!

3.) BPR must run odd hours! If I say, “can you do 3:30am?” she shouldn’t think that’s weird.

4.)she is fearless! BPR will not be skurred to run trails at night, or silver comet in pitch black! She will depend on my knife for protection.

5.)she is competitive! BPR MUST BE OPENLY EXTREMELY COMPETITIVE, but not in life, only in training and racing! She must push me to be competitive by racing me in training runs and screaming at me when I’m sucking wind. SHE MUST DISCRETELY RACE OTHERS CASUALLY RUNNING AT THE PARK.

6.)BPR will talk about anything and everything and not hold back, regardless of level of grossness, and never EVER repeat off trail!

7.)BPR must be extremely giddy and happy and funny and able to yell things at random individuals.

8.) and if it wasn’t obvious by the numerous SHE’s- BPR must be a woman!!! She must not ever invite dudes on our run unless they are a very obvious Rovi replacement. (Rovi is an insanely tall super fast black man and awesome running partner we had way back when that no longer speaks to us.)

9.)BPR must run far. She should think of 20 miles as the minimum weekend distance, and be game to go farther when needed.

10.)BPR must prefer stone mountain but be down to run pretty much anywhere.

Welp, thats all. If you think you are the new BPR (the job is only temporary!!) Please send resume to me ASAP!!!!
😀 😀 😉
(aka miss ya Beth)

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