Do you run?
Want to make sure you REALLY run?
Well honestly, your sweat, endorphin flow, and great mood really aren’t enough evidence. There are some critical steps you must take to ensure your run credibility and legitimacy.
You run.You upload it.
If Facebook doesn’t get to know that you suffered through a 5K with a blister, but it still “felt great” …does it even count?!
If DailyMile doesn’t receive a thorough heartfelt evaluation of your goals… do you even have any?
If there’s no hashtagged #run tweet saying otherwise, were you actually just sitting on your butt all day?
What would happen if you ran 12 miles at a 7:45 pace and STRAVA knew nothing about it?!!
The answers: NO. NO. YES. And BAD THINGS…VERY BAD THINGS.
A run without social media info? HA. It isn’t a run at all. No run is worth anything without proper documentation.
You run. You Pic.
“Pics or it didn’t happen!!!!!” What better way to share your running enthusiasm with the world than an inspirational running pic? A sweaty selfie? The black and white glory pose. Pigeon toe shoes.. The possibilities are endless.
If you want maximum impact– try the PicStitch. The Picstitch is a dangerous tool for inspiration. It features your worn out nasty lookin’ face, your beat up shoes, the road you ran, AND the Garmin data… For one SUPER picture that is fit to inspire even the most uninterested nonrunners.
HASHTAG it with things you feel you represent…#honor #glory #inspiration #power #elite #immortal #godofrunning #beautiful #sponsored #yourworstnightmare
Inspirational examples found below:
“The bathroom break workout”
“The couple fantasy trail inspiration”
“The bliss jumping warrior”
You run. You dress the part.
Look, you wanna be a runner, you better freakin’ LOOK like a real runner. You don’t lace up your shoes without some serious gear to back that crap up.
Deluxe handheld for 3 mile run. (Check)
Pimped out trail kicks for the local park. (Check)
Ultra finisher race T for a 5k. (BAM)
Garmin?… Wait. There are people who take them off to sleep? Pshhh.
You Run. You eat like a runner.
How is anyone supposed to know you are a healthy runner unless you eat like one? Forget the fact that you LOOK great. We need online proof here, people.
A picture of a bowl of kale will work if you’re “going vegan”.. or just something smart and elite looking.
There’s also “juicing”. And really it doesn’t matter WHAT the frick you mix up, as long as its a weird color and looks like vomit, but is labeled as healthy.
Annnd of course, there is Paleo. So…….you know…bacon.
Don’t take pics of the real crap you eat, either. Just the things that make you look interesting and educated.
The lesson here is that yes, a runner eats, but what’s more important is that a runner lets everyone KNOW he or she eats.
You Run. You do it for charity.
If you’re thinking about doing a really really long run, it would be wrong to do it for yourself. So why not do it for charity?
What charity?… It doesn’t matter…make one up.
Because friend… Your running long is good for one thing and one thing alone: changing the world.
Take the great runner
Michael Scott’s advice:
So go ahead. Make that charity. And be sure your face is the first glorious thing that people see when they donate to it.
You run. You race.
There is no such thing as being a runner unless you race competitively.
End of that sad piece of crap little story.
You run. You inspire.
Above all else:
Always remember that you are here to inspire the masses. You are destined to be The Great Inspiration of Life.
You don’t just run for fun.
You don’t only run for health.
You don’t run for a hobby.
You don’t run because you need a break.
You don’t run to hang out with runner friends.
You just run for the greater good of the world, and for the everlasting glory of an enriched and inspired runner life.
Think you got it? Good. Happy running.
;) haha sorry. Just havin’ some fun. But you know what I’m talking about… don’t you!?!? I’m guilty of it too. I appreciate all of the tweets & emails etc, but leave your thoughts here below first! Have a great weekend.-Ash